Traveling makes me eat donuts. On Friday, I was the only person in the security line at Gerald Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids, MI.  There still was a line though, because the woman reading the x-ray scans had yet to lose her diligence. My two computers, jacket, shoes, and two bags formed quite the […]

[Read more →]

On a CRJ 700 (that’s high-tech airplane speak for ‘small, cramped aircraft that only flies to cities in the Midwest’) if you happen to score seat 17B, the flight attendant sits right next to your face. As part of its plan to emerge from financial ruin and regain more of its former customer base, United […]

[Read more →]

I saw some Republicans yesterday. In fact, I saw hundreds, maybe millions.  I was in the middle of an improv everywhere stunt, except the Republican canvassers didn’t sing show tunes, or freeze in place for five minutes.   They were real, and they all wore navy blue polo shirts and planted themselves at regular intervals […]

[Read more →]

My favorite Vans have a hole. When I moved to Santa Cruz, CA in 2002 I made sure that everyone knew I was from Massachusetts.  I arrived on time, brought a bunch of sweaters and khaki pants, honked at pedestrians, and just in case anyone was left wondering, I dressed as a Masshole for Halloween.  […]

[Read more →]

Once, when I was a freshman in college, I boiled my hairbrush in bleach in a microwave oven. In 1997 we didn’t have a swine flu pandemic.  We had lice.  The urban legend around patient zero had something to do with good deeds like volunteering at an elementary school, where the crawling dandruff latched on, […]

[Read more →]