I played golf by myself today.  I had nobody to mumble self-conscious excuses towards after botched shots.  I shot par on the first hole. Nobody saw it. I shot a 9 on the second hole. Nobody saw it.  I shot birdie on the third hole. Birdie! Nobody saw it.  I continued on the forth and fifth holes in what was shaping up to be one of the best games I’ve ever played.  My confidence oozed like a soggy green and I began to think that I was good enough to make eye contact with other golfers, but there was nobody in front or behind me.  In the middle of the fairway of hole six, the ranger drove up to tell me that if I wanted to play the blue course (aka the real course) I could hop in with him and he’d drive me to the tee. Oozing slows as I realize that both my greatest and crappiest shots have been played on the easy course.

Ahh golf.  What a tease! I started playing three years ago because Stanford gave me PE credits and I figured I could get into visors.   I didn’t know I was stepping on to an emotional roller coaster fit for Wally World.  Now here I am, teeing off alone in Michigan.  I walked the course, because I like the pace of the game that way.  It gives me ample time to worry about my next shot.

Michelle Wie. You see her here. But she's no bigger than a speck if she's 300 yards in front of you.

We all know of golf legends and lore, or at least we realize that these exist and dramatically nod along when someone else mentions them.  The word authentic comes to mind when we silence ourselves for the putts of others.  Did I say ‘authentic’ or ‘old man?’ Maybe that’s not fair.  After all, last spring I played a round at Stanford with Joe Mellin of TicTasks and we were put with a random third guy whose obsession with Michelle Wie, playing with her parents right in front of us, was entertaining enough to entertain with the same exaggerated head nods.

Either way, the sport itself carries a brand of purity, but the equipment is modern and commercial.  Even women’s golf clothing is finally being designed so that we can carry around an extra ball in our pocket without looking like we have … a ball in our pocket.  Designer Lauren Milroy put the ball pocket lower on the pant leg where it’s no longer obscene.  Putt putt (mini golf in case my parents were the only ones that said putt putt) is the only offshoot golf experience.  Are there any other innovations on the game itself?

Speed golf? Disco golf? Full contact golf? Winter golf? Bubba out the list for me.  What’s the next great leap in golf?